My Kryptonite

I felt the need to write this post because I wanted to try to explain my life at this moment, the circumstances of today, to myself. Right now, my body is feeling the consequences of my weekend: not enough sleep, major procrastination on killer reading all leading up to last night, and just too much fun (all wholesome goodness, of course .. ;)) As I posted on facebook, "The weekend is the few days you have to rest after a long week of work, yes? Then why do I stay up later, sleep less, do more, and leave all the work for the end, making it that I start the next week off more tired than I ended the last week? Because it's so much more fun that way ;)" I'm afraid I got away with this last semester because I had a perfect slot for naps after my first class on Mondays. Over J-term, I had all the time in the world to nap after my morning classes, so I was getting home anywhere between 12 and 2 every night the last two weeks. I was still fitting in exercise, Jesus time, sleep, food, and cool people. This first weekend of Spring Semester proved that I could not get away with the same combination of greatness anymore. I had a great weekend, would do it all over again.. except for one thing-- I would have made the choice to split my reading up instead of leaving 4 books on my desk to be read on Sunday night. Needless to say, I didn't get as much sleep as I needed last night. I could've gotten away with that last semester or J-term with naps. Today, I tasted a long napless day. I hope to never return to such a God-forsaken place again.

I woke up at 9:30, after 5 1/2 hours of sleep (I can function on this later in the week with naps, but not on a napless Monday). After a much needed time with God in His Word, I went to World Politics at 11. Lunch at 12, Beauty, my Honors course, at 1--this course takes its toll on the mind. After attempting to read for ICS, I headed there at 3, walked out at 4:30, not even aware of what I was doing or where I was going. I had under two hours before I would have to return for my 3 hour class at 6. I went to my room and tried to nap. I lied when I said I didn't nap, I napped for about 20 minutes, not like it did any good tho. After some dinner, headed to class. I thank God for Dr. Allen and bless him for letting us out at 7:30; I was not in any way ready to sit there for over an hour more. At this point my head is throbbing, my foot is not any better than it was on Friday and its gotten cold outside, ew. My friends who saw me on my way back to my room can see my glazed look and slumped body and had sympathy--but really I'm almost all to blame for this.

It was a pretty harsh schedule for a Monday, but it could have gone so much better if I weren't so weak. "Weak?" you ask. Yes. I, Sierra Owens-Hughes, am weak. I know this is really hard to believe (cue the womanhood/weakness joke from a certain reader). My weakness, my kryptonite, is people. I love people, and it doesn't help that I don't like homework. I had meant to get some work done on Saturday but both Friday and Saturday nights I spent with friends goofing off, watching movies, playing music, going to Steak & Shake (now become a stable part of my week). I can say I stayed up later than I ever have for social reasons. I've only stayed up that late for school stuff--procrastination, of course. Unless it is THE time to do my work, i.e. the night before its due, I will always choose people over work. Last night I left the Superbowl party happening upstairs to start my reading for today. I even put American football after homework (please note the sarcasm). I knew it was time to get working, but when Anna knocked on my window I of course stopped my reading to talk to her. Someone returning to the party upstairs gave me flack for not working, but he agreed with my "people before homework" choice. I will always put aside my work if someone wants to talk to me, not because I don't want to be a jerk and say no, but because I love talking to people. I really love getting to know people. If you want to be my friend, be willing to just talk--about anything. I do not expect you to come to me and spill your heart to me, but lets talk. Except for a few exceptions, mostly just some people who creep me out or annoy the crap out of me, I want to get to know you. I really do! I mean, I will not lie, I can't stand when someone I barely know/don't know decides that they're going to tell me their life story over chat. That's just you wanting attention. Build a relationship with someone, don't just dump your life's crap on them. BUT, don't expect me to want to spend tons of time with you if all we ever do is goof off. It's fun, but if you can't have a real conversation with me.. that friendship isn't going very far.

Back to whatever I was saying.. it's not like every time I say yes to some text or facebook message I'm about to go have a great conversation that will deepen my friendships. Honestly, that happens maybe half the time, but I have to be willing to have nights where we aren't getting into deep conversations to also be there for the great times. And those nights where we don't have a deep conversation are still so fun. Those times when I just goof off with someone is where our inside jokes and great memories can be made. I might have just made it sound like I have to make the hard choice to hang out with people, no matter what. FALSE. I will say yes to hanging out with friends most any time. I love to laugh, and my friends make me laugh--that is why they are my friends! Of course not the only reason they're my friends, but it does help. God has put some amazing people in my life, and I take the time, lots of it, to enjoy them and our friendship.

Sometimes I should be making the decision of putting rest or homework before just hanging out. Unless it's some crucial situation where someone needs me, I don't always have to say yes. I can't not say no because I'm just some people pleaser, but because that's my weakness. Any chance of having fun with friends arises, I can't say no, I can't help myself. And then the horrible situation comes up every once in a while when several chances of hanging out with there are several different groups of friends doing something, and I just don't know what to do with myself, so I try to do it all and find myself blissfully exhausted. Maybe just a couple of times have I regretted staying up a little late to have a great time with friends instead of doing much needed work. If I've regretted it, it means my work load is bad and I will be running on adrenaline and caffeine for a few days.

Prime example of this whole situation: tonight. I got back from class at 7:30, decided to write a "quick" blog post about today and go to bed early, you know, get some good much needed rest. What happens? I am in the middle of the blog, talking to a few friends on skype and texting, but nothing that will keep me up till later than needed. Then I get a facebook message from Mr. Dani Marti with a much too familiar command. "Sierra, ask Celia if she wants to get some dinner! I'd like IHOP!" So I tell Celia, we head to Dani's within 15 min. The three of us plus one of Dani's teammates go to Steak & Shake for a while, then spend way too long digging through the 5$ DVD bin at Walmart. I get home at 11:20 and I can't just leave my blog, I finish it. Now, don't think I spent some hours on this blog, I just get distracted easily. My "get rested tonight" plan is out the window, but I thank God that I don't have class till 10:50 tomorrow. And I never regret our family dinners.