Endings

It hit me today: I am two weeks away from being done with my freshman year. It's ridiculous. So much has happened, and yet it feels like these last couple of months moved by unnoticed-- not quite the way I expected them to. I hate that I felt like I missed out on something, but I have yet to realize what that something is...

 I love being able to rely on the fact that some people will always be doing the same thing at the same place. That way I know that when I just want to be, just be, I can do it there with them, because they'll be doing the same. But sometimes, I hear stories of great things that happen. I hear of adventures being had, spontaneous things occurring.. a lot.

And I wonder why my life seems void of that spontaneity. And I get bummed out.. because it's all become so monotonous. I hang out with the same people and we do the same thing everyday, and the few times they are "spontaneous," I happen to be gone/busy/doing something else, and I miss these rarities. So, I get bored.. I get bored quickly, and I want something fun. I want to venture in the woods and have stories of being chased by dogs and setting things on fire.. or something. I want to have endless stories of times we spent hours getting lost and not caring. I want to stroll into my dorm room, smiling uncontrollably, not a word to describe what just happened, scenes running in my head that I just can't believe played out the way they did. I want to make the greatest memories of times that just can't happen twice and I want to search out things that haven't been done, then do those things. I want to drop all my work and head out for an adventure. I don't care that we're 2 weeks from finals, I want an adventure. Maybe I'm tired of being in my dorm room by midnight most nights of the week. Maybe I think it's been too long since I've been to IHOP or Steak and Shake at unmentionable hours, maybe I miss taking 3 hour walks with a friend that felt like twenty minutes. Maybe I would like to be walking somewhere, with a plan, and have someone ask me to go do something random and totally unplanned with them-- and then do it. I am usually more than willing to drop whatever I'm doing for some spontaneous fun, but the opportunity just has come up recently. Maybe I need to wander back to Ayers where Emily and Kayla will surely give me the giggles by just the sight of that quote wall.

 and all this mumble jumble, me missing out on things, is of course mostly because of the amount of homework I've been getting. I left the 2D Art studio at 5 a.m. this morning after finishing my Honors Beauty paintings.. and arrived at my dorm room as the sun peaked over the the LifeWay building just to start on my World Politics paper that was due some 6 hours later. Last night was a good night though.. I guess it was more of an adventure than I have had recently, which is sad to say, seeing that most of it was me sitting and painting. But I did make new friends I think, at least I hope, and we sang in the racquetball courts and we watched the 1974 version of The Little Prince and we enjoyed our work. We listened to the rain beat down on the PAC and smiled at the sound of deep thunder.

 and all that ranting on 2 hours of sleep to say that you should all-- if you are here in Jackson-- come see the Honors Beauty projects at some point this week between 11 and 1 starting today and ending on Friday. Our official presentations will be today, Tuesday, at 11/11:15ish.. and there will be food :) So yes, come see how Honors is wonderful-- paintings, poetry, sculpture, photography, other really cool stuff that we nerdy kids make! Oh, and it's in the theatre good night and good luck!