22 days

what? I don't know if I believe that. 22 days since my last post. Not that anyone's missing out on anything, but I missed this blog some in those 22 days. Someone said today "you think about what you love" and I've thought about this blog a lot in the last 22 days.. I don't know if I dare say I love it though, those are strong words for something that will not do anything in the long run. And yet, I'm back, because I missed it, and it deserved some TLC. Who doesn't want attention from me, right?

So in these 22 days,
1. I got over being homesick--some circumstances that added to the emotional wreck were revealed and things were better explained. I'll be fine, I'm alive, and I can't wait to be back for Christmas, but for now, I'm here, and I am loving it, and will love it. I'm joyful, I'm happy, I'm back to being me I believe.

2. I am an official 2012 Life Group Leader. Had the interview, and just like everyone else, felt like it went pretty well. I guess it did go pretty well, because I went through some weird stuff tonight during New Life Group Orientation and will be headed somewhere great this weekend. Trusting Lee and Rachel to keep us safe and happy, though that shouldn't be too hard. I am crazy excited about next semester. I'm crazy excited about the rest of this semester! But all that to be kept for another day.

3. The guys played Culture Fest and rocked everyone's socks off. Boss rapped and girls swooned. Someone compared Dani's voice to Elvis Presley, Chris rocked the crap out of those drums, and Josh played some great solos on his guitar. People loved it. As I advertised in all my classes "How often do you get to see athletes play good music?" I was so nervous for them, I felt like one of those kindergarten moms watching their child, the one dressed up as a tree, in the class play. I was so proud, I'm pretty sure I was beaming. I know most guys don't like to be mothered so I keep away from that, but I felt like a proud mom... which might be slightly weird. But they're my boys, those boys, and they made me really proud.

4. I went to a rocking concert and got bronchitis, with a side of more sick. Fun. is at the top of my list for best concerts. Birmingham was shnazzy, and the group I went with was too much fun for my tired body. We sang at the top of our lungs the 3 hours back to Franklin at midnight and I think that's when my cold turned for the worse and inhabited my lungs.. good times. But it was worth it, it was amazing and I sure don't regret it. Only with the help of some antibiotics did I get over it some point last week.

5. Midterms. So, I only had a test and a reflective paper, but did I feel burnt out. Exhausted is an understatement. I was barely functioning. So when Friday afternoon came and all left for Spring Break, I took a nap. I came back from Spring Break still tired, but it's a different, good, fixable tired. I'm getting some sleep, and it feels so unfamiliar.

6. I went on a GO (Global Opportunity) trip to Hendersonville (Nashville) over Spring Break (last week). It was kind of amazing. Well, more than kind of. It was not like any other trip I've been on before. God answered prayers. There were great awkward conversations. And I learned a ton about sharing the Gospel with people who don't want it. I have so much more to say about this trip, and it's coming soon, I promise, I just don't have the minutes right now.

7. I've been caught off guard with the notion that people care about me. Of course I know people care about me... but I figured it was my closest friends, the few, the crazy. But I've learned that there are others who love me and care about me--and I didn't see it coming. I've been referred to as a sister a few times recently from different people, and once it was followed with a comment about being protective over me. I was assured that one friend was quoted to say that he would beat the crap out of anyone who laid a hand on me. I love these people, and I care about them, but a lot of time it feels like I'm farther into the deep end with involvement, and I'm okay with that. To realize that they do love me and really care about me-- and think about caring about me, it's good to hear. I wonder why they keep me around, why they put up with me, why they invite me and hug me. I wonder why they let me see it, see them live. There's no reason for our friendship, really. We don't believe the same things, we don't live the same way, we don't see eye to eye on most anything, but they've stuck around. I know my reasons, but I can't seem to understand theirs. Love me? eeeh, I don't know about that. That they now care about me.. I still doubt it, I don't know if I can fully believe that. I know I love them, but I don't really expect it to come my way, so I don't really know what to do with this. For now, maybe believe it.. maybe enjoy it.